I stare into the mirror…
I don’t know the person staring back at me;
I don’t know that I ever did

With you, I could forget me and love you.
You became my world
The balm to my wounded spirit,
a reason to start loving,
a reason to start living.
And for a time, I could forget.
Forget the pain, the loneliness, the emptiness.
Forget that I hated myself.

I hid behind your reflection
Smiling only when you smiled
Crying only when you wouldn’t
Loving me only because you did.
And there, behind you, I continued to hide…
Believing myself happy,
believing myself whole.

Now you have stepped away
Leaving only the reflection of me…
Again, I see a stranger staring back at me.
How could anyone love what I see…
Fat, Pathetic, Needy
The reflection I see of me
Screaming into the void…
Screaming for acceptance.
You did long ago.

I reach for you, asking you to show me how…
How to love myself
How to become more
More than the reflection I despise so much

But you’re not there

I’ve reached out to you so many times before…
Asking for your help, your love, your acceptance
And every time you have come to me
I hide behind you in my mirror
Never looking at myself
Never trying to change
Never learning to love me

You grew tired…
Tired of the fights
Tired of the tears
Tired of building up what you hadn’t broken down.
You walked away…
Leaving only me
Leaving only my reflection to comfort me

Without you to love me…
I didn’t know how to smile
I didn’t know how to cry
I didn’t know how to love

Now I’m alone with me in the mirror
The reflection of a stranger staring back at me
She is scared, she is lonely, she is desperate to be whole

I take a deep breath and reach out to her
Together we must walk this scary path
A journey of forgiveness
A journey to find self‑love and peace.

I know she can’t do it alone
I am afraid to walk with her
But I know together is the only way

Maybe together we can find me…
The me I used to know.